Real Moments

Chapter 1: YOUR QUEST FOR HAPPINESS First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now, I am dying...and suddenly I realize I forgot to live." --ANONYMOUS This is a book about the real moments that make life matter, and how to have more of them. It is about experiencing fulfillment and meaning in your life now, not when you have more money, or find the right partner, or achieve your perfect weight, but in this and every moment. It is about how to rediscover real moments with your mate and your children, real moments with your work and your play, and, most of all, real moments with yourself. All of my previous books have been about the relationships men and women have with one another. Real Moments is about the relationship we have with the process of living itself, and the peace many of us have been searching for, whether we're aware of it or not. Look honestly at your own life. Are your days and nights spent doing things that are meaningful and make you smile? Or do you spend the majority of your time doing things that give you back the smallest percentage of joy? When your life is over, will you wish you had spent your time differently? If you had only one month to live, what would you change? Look deeply into your own heart. Are you happy? Is there something you think needs to happen before you can be happy? Are you sure that if that something occurred, you would truly be happy then? Would it be enough? Look closely at the values of your spirit. If you suddenly died tomorrow, and you looked back on your life, what moments would you cherish the most? What would you miss the most about your time on earth? In writing this book, I offer you an opportunity to begin finding the answers to these questions for yourself as I have been doing for myself. I believe that asking ourselves these questions is very important. It forces us to stop living our lives mechanically and unconsciously, and demands that we pay attention. There's a famous Zen story about the student who approaches his Master and asks him to share some words of wisdom about life. The Master looks intently at the anxious disciple for a moment, and then writes one word with his brush: "Attention." The disciple is confused, and nervously asks the Master to elaborate and the Master writes again: "Attention." By this time, the young student is beside himself with frustration--he can't figure out what his teacher is trying to tell him. And once more the Master patiently writes: ATTENTION ...ATTENTION ...ATTENTION Paying, attention to the moments in your life as they unfold is what having real moments means, moments when you are fully present, fully feeling, fully alive. Sometimes they will be moments of great happiness. Sometimes they will be moments of profound sorrow. But always, when you pay attention to where you are and what is going on, right now, you will experience a moment that has meaning, a moment that matters, and that is what I call a real moment. "I find the question 'WHY ARE WE HERE?' typically human. I'd suggest 'ARE WE HERE?' would be the more logical choice..." --LEONARD NIMOY, Mr. Spock in Star Trek Are you fully here, right now, reading this sentence? Or are you reading and thinking about the work you should be doing, or what you're going to have for dinner? Are you kind of reading, but alsoDe Angelis, Barbara is the author of 'Real Moments' with ISBN 9780385310680 and ISBN 0385310684.