Fourth Trimester And You Thought Labor Was Hard-- Advice, Humor, and Inspiration for New Moms on Surviving the First Six Weeks-And Beyond

Chapter One There's a reason they call it labor. Recovering from labor is the closest thing most women come to recuperating from a heavyweight fight. Chances are you were pushing for hours on end, you didn't sleep a bit, and you feel like you've been run over by a truck. If you had a vaginal delivery, and an episiotomy or tearing to boot, you are going to be sore and in serious pain. If you had a C-section, you've had major abdominal surgery and you're going to be in more serious pain. This is very easy to forget. Just because people have them all the time doesn't change this fact. Since it bears repeating, again, you've had major abdominal surgery. Don't try to do everything, in fact, don't try to do anything. Just sleep, feed the baby, and get waited on hand and foot. Sooner than you would like, everyone will leave and it will be just you and the baby, fending for yourselves. This is not a Tylenol commercial. When I was leaving the hospital, I assumed I'd be getting some medicine to take with me. But when I asked my doctor for a prescription he laughed: "The medicine you're taking is so strong, you could fall down flat on your face on the sidewalk and you wouldn't feel a thing," he said. The painkillers they give you in the hospital are incredibly powerful. Take away all of the endorphins and hormones floating around, and the fact is, you're much weaker than you feel. It's easy to try and be a martyr and forgo the medicine, especially if you're nursing and nervous that the drugs will cross into your milk. Don't be a fool. You might have delivered without an epidural, okay, you are woman, we've heard you roar, now take some medicine if your doctor gives it to you and be kind to yourself. This is not the Olympics. While people might be impressed that you delivered without an epidural, no one's going to pat you on the back for a drug-free postgame show. Pain medication from your doctor won't hurt the baby (your baby will be taking Tylenol soon enough), and it will make your recovery a heck of a lot more comfortable. Recovering from labor is painful, whether you've had a vaginal or a cesarean. Remember, there are no brownie points for suffering. You will get no sleep in the hospital. Maternity wards are actually set up to allow you the least amount of sleep possible. A possible reason for this is to delude you into the sensation that you are sleeping more when you get home with your newborn so you'll think you have the swing of things. When you come home, you will be exhausted. Try to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. The milkwoman cometh. You may have thought your breasts got big when you became pregnant. Well, when your milk comes in, you will look like you've developed grapefruits or cantaloupes (along with all of those little weird blue lines) for breasts. Except these babies will be rock hard. It might seem that although your stomach has gone down, in fact, all that mass just made its way higher up and settled in your breasts. Wasn't it supposed to be what comes in must come out? Did someone forget that? The good news is that your breasts will get softer and go down (and down and down and down). So don't get flipped out if your bra size is somewhere so deep into the alphabet that you didn't even know they made bras that big. And whatever you do, don't rush out (or have others go out for you) and buy nursing bras during these first few days. This is temporary, your breasts will get softer, and smaller, so don't throw money down the drain buying bras that will only fit you for a week. The other neat little surprise is not only do your breasts get huge, but when your milk comes in, they hurt like hell. Is it possible that it hurts more than labor? Yep. Unfortunately, they don't give epidurals for your milk coming in (though perhaps any doctors reading this should get to work on that). Again, this too shall pass. [read more]