5 People Who Died During Sex And 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists

Chapter One: Choice Cuts Goat's Testicles to Go:TenNational Delicacies 1. Cena Molida (contains roasted mashed cockroaches) [Belize] 2. Fried, roasted, or boiled guinea pig [Ecuador] 3. Rat meat sausages [Philippines] 4. Desiccated petrified deer's penis [China] 5. Boodog (goat broiled inside a bag made from the carefully cut and tied goatskin: the goat is either barbecued over an open fire or cooked with a blowtorch) [Mongolia] 6. Monkey toes [Indonesia] 7. Larks' tongues [England (sixteenth century)] 8. Salted horsemeat sandwiches [Netherlands] 9. Durian fruit (has a fragrance identical to that of a rotting corpse) [Southeast Asia] 10. Khachapuri, the traditional cheese pie of the former Soviet republic of Georgia. In 1995 authorities closed down a bakery whose specialty was khachapuri when it emerged that the pies were being baked in the Tbilisi morgue. Food for Thought:TenGreat Gourmands 1. EMPEROR ELAGABALUS Even in an age of culinary surprises, the emperor shocked his guests with the novelty of the dishes on offer at his 12hour banquets by serving up camel brains, the combs from live chickens, peacock and nightingale tongues, mullets' livers, flamingos' and thrushes' brains, parrots', pheasants', and peacocks' heads, and sows' udders. He also served his guests exact replicas of the food he was eating, made out of wood, ivory, pottery, or stone. The guests were required to indulge his practical joke and continue eating. He ate as Romans often did, reclining on couches scattered with lilies and violets, feasting between bouts of self-induced vomiting and demanding sex between courses. A couple of dinner guests once complimented him on the flower arrangement in the middle of the imperial table and carelessly conjectured how pleasant it might be to be smothered in the scent of roses. The Emperor obliged: The next time they sat down to eat with him he had them smothered to death under several tons of petals. 2. JOHN MONTAGU, FOURTH EARL OF SANDWICH In 1762, Britain's First Lord of the Admiralty, a notorious gambler, gave his name to the world's bestknown convenience food when he placed a slice of beef between two pieces of bread so that he could carry on eating at the gaming tables without the distraction of greasy fingers. It was not, however, for his peerless snack that Montagu became the talk of the taverns. When he wasn't gambling or helping lose the Revolutionary War, Montagu was caricatured by the press as a notorious philanderer who was said to spend his evenings in a private "garden of lust" featuring hedges pruned to resemble a woman's private parts. 3. KING GEORGE IV The poet Leigh Hunt was sent to prison for libel when he dared to suggest that the thenPrince of Wales was overweight, but Hunt was only stating the obvious. The new king, who was fond of hosting onehundredcourse feasts, got his reign off to a flying start at his coronation banquet when he served up to his guests 7,442 pounds of beef, 7,133 pounds of veal, 2,474 pounds of mutton, and an unweighed mountain of lamb and poultry. This orgy of conspicuous consumption so offended his subjects that coronation banquets were banned forthwith. By early middle age George had a fiftyinch waist and it took three hours to squeeze him into the royal corset, and a pulley system was required to enable him to mount a horse. Even on his deathbed, his appetite was undiminished. Shortly before expiring from cardiac and respiratory problems at the age of sixtyseven, he ordered two pigeons, three steaks, a bottle of wine, a glass of champagne, two glasses of port, and a glaShaw, Karl is the author of '5 People Who Died During Sex And 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists', published 2007 under ISBN 9780767920599 and ISBN 0767920597.